I’m not able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, nor am I more powerful than a speeding locomotive. But today I’m able to feel a real satisfaction from taking the small actions in life. I could say that I’m still trying to leap those buildings, but that would be a lie. What I am doing is trying to enjoy staying in the now.
For me, it’s too easy to be a grumph. Perhaps it’s genetic. Perhaps it’s part of being an alcoholic. There I was in a chilly, windy carwash standing on my head. That’s what it feels like to bend over and do something in that position for half an hour. I was doing an essential job. I was being useful. I couldn’t breathe. I was physically uncomfortable, and I was unhappy. I didn’t say a word either.
When I was done spraying those grills with Easy-Off Oven Cleaner, I felt real satisfaction in what I’d done.
We went out to dinner last night, and I felt the conversation with the husband was a truly awkward thing. I who used a glass of wine as a social lubricant, felt uncomfortable in the long silences with a person I didn’t know well. Then again, I felt real satisfaction in going out to be social with new people.
Obviously I need to put myself in these uncomfortable positions more often. Stretch myself. Poke myself in the ribs, so to speak. Get myself out of my shell and learn to be social again.
I feel real satisfaction